More Goodbyes

Honduras. Day 64.

Today I rode into town with Marc and had him drop me off at the apartments so that I could work out the horrendous laundry bill problem with the manager so that the interns don't owe nearly $1000 in laundry (it's a long, stupid story). We worked through it and got the bill cut lower. Afterwards, I had a few hours to kill before I could meet up with a TORCH bus and get back with the group, so I walked down the street and got one last panes (an amazing Honduran breakfast sub) from my favorite street vendor. Then I walked to Little Caesar's to eat it, and then to Cafemania (again, one last time) for a mocachino. Then I walked to the McDonald's across the street from Campero's (where I figured the bus would go) and sat on the bench outside with Ronald McDonald and waved to people (yes, I'm weird). An hour later, I lucked out and a TORCH bus rode by and I jumped on.

We went to the school for the blind next. I have gotten tired of visiting so many places this summer, but I have never gotten tired of the school for the blind. And as I played with all of my little friends, and held hands with my "girlfriend" Maria, and listened to the kids (the angels) sing... It all set in that it was really ending, and that I was walking out of the gate to the blind school for the last time.

God really has blessed me with quite an experience that I'll never forget...

Tonight, me, Wesley, Daniel Russell, Tracy and Eli went to La Cumbre for dinner (a BEAUTIFUL restaurant, ritzier and nicer than any I've ever been to in the States). It was a wonderful and peaceful evening, with some of the best food I've ever had. Ever. A great way to conclude the trip.

I had to say, "Goodbye" to many things today. And yet, I know, that saying, "Goodbye" to Sector Ocho tomorrow will be the toughest of all.

God bless them all.

Last Day in Los Pinos

Honduras. Day 63.

The past two days (today and yesterday) have been some of the most physically and emotionally challenging days of the summer.

And yet they were wonderful all at the same time.

Yesterday, a group of us set out to Los Pinos on Jenny Cobb's house crew. We got to the site and saw that there was going to be a little bit of a downhill struggle to get the wood and the tools to the site, but it was nothing worse than anything I've seen so far this summer. No, the challenge was what we found when we got to the site: a six foot slope of solid rock. Normally we can just elevate the floor and ignore the slope, but this slope was so extreme that we had to chisel it out with bars and pick axes.

And did I mention it was solid rock?

So the first three or so hours of the house site was purely just swinging heavy metal objects at rock. Twenty minutes of driving a bar will melt your arms into jell-o, let me just go ahead and tell ya'. But eventually we lowered the slope a couple of feet and were able to start digging post-holes. Still, we blew so much time working with the rock that we were only able to get all of the 4x4 and 2x4 posts in, and then it was time to leave.

But this morning, the "bufftruck" crew loaded up in Guillermo's mini-bus and headed back to Los Pinos to finally tackle what was honestly the most difficult house site I've ever seen. Mark Connell eventually showed up and helped us out GREATLY, but the crew itself was a powerful, cohesive team, and we finished up by about 1:30 in the afternoon. It was a TOUGH house to finish, but extremely rewarding to finally get done with. Then, a few of us went with Victor, probably my best friend in all of Honduras (he always asks where I am when Gringos show up on the mountain, he never begs for stuff like the other kids, and he always helps on EVERY house site in Los Pinos, and never gets paid except for whatever stuff we might give him), to go visit his house. It was a small hut, maybe 20x16, with a half separating wall in the middle and Victor said it was where he

and his ten brothers and sisters

lived. It was amazing to finally see my best friend's house (he's been asking me to come visit for a long time), and we just sat and looked at family pictures and talked with him. Will and Jenny left them their shoes for him and his family, and then it was time to go.

Here comes the heart-wrenching part.

All of the kids were well aware that it was our last day in Los Pinos for the year. And some of the ones that I was closest to (Wilson, Victor, Josilyn, and Keydi) even knew that it was probably my last day in Los Pinos ever. So when it was time to get on the bus, there was this swarm of children around our work crew. But they were no mob; they begged for nothing; they were silent. They just stood there, wanting to hug every one of us several times, and tell us that they loved us. So after five years of coming to TORCH, and spending the majority of those years working in Los Pinos with these children, the day had finally come to say, "Goodbye." And it was much harder than I expected. I don't know if I squeezed too hard, but I definitely gave each of those kids the biggest hugs I could. I told them that I loved them. I told them that I'd miss them.

And then I got on the bus.

And I will never forget their faces, running alongside the bus, smiling and waving (all the while fighting back the rest of their tears) and telling us, "Adios."

"Adios..."

Adios, Los Pinos. Adios.

The Widow's Mite

Honduras. Day 61 (July 28).

Today I hit my two-month mark of time spent here in Honduras this summer.

I had seriously been considering going to build a house today (just for my personal sanity since it's been since Thursday that I've gotten to build one), but they offered a clothing distribution center opportunity in Sector Ocho and, fearing that I don't have much time left to be able to be with the kids in my favorite community anymore, I jumped on that opportunity. Several other Starkville people did as well, which made for a good, fun day. Plus, Maria Phillips organized the clothing center and she is AMAZING at organizing, so it all went extremely smoothly and we clothed the whole community. What a great day!

But let me tell you where I saw Jesus today. I think this was the firs time, all summer long, where I spoke up at "Where Did You See Jesus Today" at devo.

When I got there, there were a bunch of kids that remembered me that ran up to me crying out, "Arroz! Arroz!" like normal in Sector Ocho. But today, one kid came up to me, calling me "Arroz," whom I had never even seen before. And normally that wouldn't phase me, but this kid was just crazy about some "Arroz." He was kind of chubbier, maybe 9 years old, and he was just hanging all over me, wanting hugs, wanting me to talk to him, not wanting me to give him anything but just wanting my attention.

His name was Manuel.

And at first I got a little annoyed. It doesn't take long for one kid to hug you a little too much before you start thinking, "Okay, go find you another Gringo, kid." But in Manuel, I just saw this great need for love. I saw this need for attention. So I kept trying to give it to him all day. But let me tell you, it was he who returned the love back to me.

I used to blow tons of money on the kids in Sector Ocho, buying them drinks and food. But two months of living here has depleted my money supply, and I have a little bit left to get through the rest of this week on. But Manuel and a bunch of his friends ran up to me, asking me if they could go with me and all buy some Cokes. I apologized to them, and explained how I'd been here for so long that all I have left is 50 lempiras (about $2.50) to get me through the rest of this week.

At first, they all just nodded their heads. But then something amazing happened. Manuel reached in his pocket and pulled out

one lempira,

a little less than a nickel,

and tried to hand it to me. I started saying I couldn't take his money, and then all of his friends reached in their pockets and pulled out their lempiras, and tried to give them to me. I had about 5 little hands pushing no more than a dollar in my face. I turned them all down, thanked them profusely, but tried to assure them that I would be okay.

Today I saw the widow who gave to the temple treasury out of her poverty in Manuel. And, if I came on this trip for no other reason, I'm glad that I saw Jesus in Manuel today. Because I think that that had to be one of those "you'll-never-forget-this-moment" kind of moments that will change me forever.

Relaxed

Honduras. Day 60.

Today we all went to church in Los Pinos. Wesley and Cisco preached, and by the end of the sermon there were three new sisters and one new brother in Christ, totaling (I believe) 27 baptisms so far this trip. It was a great time to clap and smile and hug and rejoice in the birth of new Christians, and imagine the even greater rejoicing going on at the party in Heaven.

After church, we all went to Cascadas Mall for lunch. Most everyone from the Starkville group went to get some T.G.I. Friday's (ohhhh, so good). Then we got back on the buses and went out to Valle de Angeles. I went in one store to get a couple more souvenirs for the family, and then I was done (I've been to Valley of Angels ENOUGH this year), so I just went to a coffee shop to sit and work on my devo for the evening. We loaded the buses at about 5:00, went back to Villa Gracia, and enjoyed a TON of Church's chicken. After that, I did the devo on realizing that it's not about us (how big or great we think we are, so focused on ourselves), but that it's all about realizing the big picture and the greatness of our God. Afterwards, I had someone in the trip pull me aside about wanting to change their life.

Maybe God did have a purpose for me after all.

Later that night, all the guys sat around in the Starkville guys' dorm and played Mafia until midnight. It was just an all-around good, relaxing Sunday.

Fruit Market

Honduras. Day 59.

Let me tell you about the awesomeness that has been the past two days.

The past two days, I have woken up, had a delicious breakfast with some of the best people in the world, and then sat through inspiring and encouraging devotionals. Yesterday, Parker led a house crew in Los Pinos. I was going to help on his crew, but he already had like 20 people, so I stuck with most of the Starkville guys and went to the fruit market in Downtown Tegus.

At the fruit market, we all split up into groups to go and bargain for good prices on hundreds of different kinds of fruits and veggies. Me and my group of Cameron, Austin, Logan, and Will bought 300 cabbages and got a little boy to haul them back to the bus for us. Then we all experimented with some of the local foods (thankfully no one "regretted" that later), and then we went to the warehouse to pack up all of the food for distribution that afternoon. After a bite at Pizza Hut, we loaded up the bus and went to Los Pinos to pass out bags of fresh food to all of the families there. It was so amazing to give food to so many people.

But I will never forget the face of the boy that asked for a bag of food for his family right after I had given away my last bag.

That evening, we went to the Jesus Statue for devotional (for my 50th time this summer I can now say, "Yes, Concrete Jesus IS still there."). Wrapped up a great day.

Today: I did basically the same thing. Everyone enjoyed the fruit market and food distribution so much that we did it again. Today I had a much bigger group of a lot more Starkville people, and we just about bought all of one lady's oranges from her stand. We paid another little cart boy to carry them to the bus, and then we all got a little more food from the street vendors before heading to the warehouse. We did our assembly line of food packing again, and then went to... guess... Pizza Hut (is there an echo in here?). Afterwards, we went to a community outside of Valle de Angeles and distributed food to all of the families there.

Let me tell you about one girl I gave some food to. I handed her the bag of food and she smiled and said, "Thank you," but then she just stood there. I asked her what she wanted, and she told me that she really wanted a Bible for her family.

Because the food bag was nice, but some spiritual food would be so much better.

So I ran to find the other group and ask them if they had any Bibles left. There was only one left on the whole mountain. I got it from Jeffrey, and ran back to the girl who was waiting patiently for the Bible. I've never seen someone wait so patiently and excitedly for God's Word, and then to see God provide just one more Bible for His daughter who was waiting.

I saw Jesus in that.

And that made for a good day.

Thoughts

Honduras. Day 57.

{Just some thoughts}

Today I just stayed home. I used one of my "Get Out of Jail Free" intern cards and decided that it was a day for rest.

What I got, however, was something that I needed much, much more.

The other night, I was chatting with Allison on Facebook and she was telling me about a Nooma video that she watched at her church on Wednesday night and how she thought it was one that I needed to watch. She told me that it's one to watch when I'm by myself and without any distractions, though. So this afternoon I pulled it up on YouTube and sat outside of Villa Gracia and watched "Noise" by Rob Bell.

It was a video about the noise of the world and the silence that we need to finally be able to listen to God again. It hit home for me. A couple of hours later, I went down to the Rock by myself and sat there

in silence

and listened. But I have to tell you: at first, I heard absolutely nothing. I listened, and I listened, and I listened, and God said

nothing.

So I started going off on God. I definitely pulled a Job on Him and asked Him where He's been in my life lately, why I can't feel Him, why I can't hear Him, and why He's let people and circumstances around me crush me like they have. And I grumbled, and complained, and just let Him have it.

And then I heard back.

I heard Him ask me if I understood what the word "good" even really meant. I heard Him ask me if I was a god who can see how things would fit together and play out for what is truly "better." I heard Him ask me if I was so focused on myself and worried about myself that I was failing to see that what might hurt me at the time is for the "good" of the bigger picture.

And I started to apologize for questioning Him. But He told me that He had already forgiven me. He forgave me the day He died on the cross for me. He reminded me that His love reaches to the Heavens, and that He would forget that I had walked away from Him, that I had left Him, that I had stopped holding on to Him

because He was ALWAYS still holding on to me.

So I'm letting go. I'm forgetting the past. Because I'm starting to understand that just because His plans don't seem "good" to me at the time, He is this massive, huge, GREAT God who is working things together to truly be

for the better.

A Much Needed Day

Honduras. Day 56.

After morning devo at the fountain area of the mission house, Marc volunteered me to lead a house crew in Zamorano today. So I was already picking out people that I wanted on my crew in my mind. Unfortunately, a bunch of people were going to work on a bridge construction project in Sector Ocho. But it wound up that I had the best house building crew since Hokey Pokey TORCH days anyway.

Lee, Ryan and Janna Beth, Jacob, Daniel Russell, Brian, Lindsey, the Toillion sisters, Sarina, Sean, Eli, and Parker. I don't think I could have asked for a better bunch. We didn't get started until 12:00 noon because the drive was so long to our site, but we finished before 4:00. The house flew together, and it was a simply BEAUTIFUL house at that. And I can't take credit for that. I didn't have to do much "crew leading" today. Everyone just kind of found a job and did it. It was a good day's work.

Afterwards, I saw people passing out stuff to the family for them to have, and Ryan led a prayer with all of them. It was beautiful to see my friends serving others in such a great way. It was refreshing to get a house site that was easy and something we could do and feel like we accomplished something doing. And it was even better just to have fun with a great group of people.

We got back to the mission house and had some amazing food. I showered off and went to devo. I have had a lot of stuff on my mind lately and... frankly, a lot of bitterness towards God, to where being here has become more of a job than anything else... and I just haven't been able to pray or sing at all. But tonight, I was sitting there in devo, and they started singing "I pour out my soul deep within me," and I just started to quietly sing along. Because I realize that God is so much bigger and greater than me, and so my problems and concerns seem huge to me, but He sees the big picture. It was a slow start trying to come back home to Him...

but it's a start.

More Cement, Please

Honduras. Day 56.

We had devotional at the Rock this morning, and then Marc announced where the group was going to be able to go today: 4 people to finish the house in Ojojona, a crew to the hospital, a crew to feed at the dump, an evangelism crew, a crew to work on another school building in Nuevo Oriental, and two house crews to work in Los Pinos. A lot of people going a lot of different directions today. I didn't get to get on the crew to go finish in Ojojona... which I wasn't that upset about... But, I did find it funny that all of them were asking how to do stuff since I wouldn't be there, and they had to have more people come finish it that afternoon ("Maybe we should have included the crew leader after all..."). I was going to go work on house crews in Los Pinos, but there were a million people already on the bus, so I decided to go and work in Nuevo Oriental today.

We mixed cement, pick-axed dirt and rock, and passed cement blocks all day. I took Sean and Daniel Russell to get some eggs, ham, and creme, rolled in a tortilla, from one of my friends there for lunch. I bragged on the food to them all morning, and, sure enough, they thought it was amazing. Then we went back to work, and stayed there until about 4:30. We got Marlon to take us to the supermarket and everyone loaded up and some good sodas and sweets, and then we went back to the mission house. I hung out with Bon Boni, Daniel, and Sean for a little while, and then the rest of the groups got back and we had some amazing dinner. Then a whole bunch of us from Starkville played Apples to Apples before devo.

It's been a long summer, with a lot of problems and drama and exhausting work... But having my group here... Helps a lot.

Another Cursed Ojojona House

Honduras. Day 54.

Today I led a house crew in Ojojona. Most of the group was from Chanelle , Arkansas, and I found out later that it was a memory house for someone they were close to. I had a few others from other groups join us as well. All in all, it was a big crew, but a good crew.

However, the site was not so kind.

It was about a 300 yard hike straight up rock and mud to get the wood and the tools to the site. It was simply miserable trying to get everything up there. Not to mention, it was pouring rain the entire time. We had so many people slipping and falling all day long. But eventually we divided into teams, and the wood team got everything to the site after an hour or so of hard work.

I was on the post-setting team, and I think I've never seen as many problems trying to set posts. We were on the biggest mud slope ever, so the dirt was easy to dig but almost impossible to measure level tapes on. So we had to reset the posts four or five times. It was extremely frustrating, and I could tell the group was impatient, but eventually we got them set and started putting the first boards on for all of the walls. First problem realized: the floor was going to be four feet off the ground on one of the corner posts. Very, very tough to deal with. But we pressed on through all of the problems and got three of the walls done, so then I climbed up the tall wall to chainsaw off the tops of the posts to prepare it for the 3x4. That's when everyone freaked out.

I've been doing that all summer, and so I guess I don't think about stuff being dangerous, but the group was unhappy, not because I was chainsaw while sitting on a half inch board (sorry Mom), but because the storm really picked up and lightning struck a tree about a hundred yards from our house site. It sounded like a gunshot, and the tree caught fire. All the group was like, "Russell, get down! Get down! It's not safe!" So I climbed down, and then they all wanted to go down the hill and wait on the bus for the storm to pass.

Grrr... So we did.

And as soon as we sat on the bus for a good... 30 seconds... the rain stopped. So we went back up to the house. We got a lot more done than I thought we would, but we didn't get to finish. I'll go back and finish it tomorrow morning, so I promised the family we'd come back, and apologized for not getting it done today. They understood and were appreciative. So, after a lot of obstacles, and a very tough house site, I angrily left an unfinished house.

But tomorrow... Tomorrow it will be finished.

Back in Action

Honduras. Day 50.

The past two days I've been out of commission at Marc's house with the Hondo Revenge. All these years of coming to Honduras and never having it finally caught up with me. But the beauty of the Honduran pharmaceutical system is that you can walk into the local "Farmacia" and, if you know the right people, buy whatever pills you want. And with the extra strength stuff that Terri bought for me yesterday, I don't think it's possible for ANY kind of bacteria to still survive in my stomach.

Today I led a group at Hospital Escuela. Sometimes I've led groups that just really don't know what to do, or kind of stand around looking lost, but the group that I had today rocked. They really took time to stay and play and pray with all of the kids, instead of just running through dropping stuffed animals in all of the beds. And they took time to be with the moms too. We dropped off baby care packages in the maternity ward, and then I took some to the burn unit, and then we all went and spent the rest of the time in the cancer ward. Today I really felt like I was actually helping the group and growing closer to them at the same time (a great feeling after sitting by myself at Marc's watching movies off of iTunes).

After the hospital, we went to the Campero's area for lunch. Translation: Little Caesar's for me. No surprise there. Then we got back on the bus and went to the warehouse to let everyone get stuffed animals and toys to take to the blind school. I know that they love toys that make noise, so I got a maraca to give to my little girlfriend, Maria. When we got to the blind school, they sang several songs to us, and then we to them, and then we went out on the patio and played. Me and Pete sat with Maria and tickled her while she laughed her head off, and told her we "loved" the music she was making with her new maraca.

Afterwards, we went to Mall Multiplaza. Argh. I don't enjoy the mall that much. But, I just sat with a few people in the food court and we talked for a very long time, and then a few of us went to T.G.I. Friday's for mini burger bites and chicken quesadillas right before time to get back on the bus. Then we loaded up and went to the Jesus statue for devotional tonight.

Just another great day in Honduras.

Los Pinos House

Honduras. Day 47.

Good day, today.

Today I woke up around 6:30 to discover that the electricity in Marc's house was out. And since the shower head is electric here, me, Nolan, Rayner, Steve, Andrea, Marc and Terri all had to miss out on the luxury of actually being clean. Terri left early to go pick up someone from the Kingsport, TN group that was coming into San Pedro Sula today. The rest of us went to devotional with the group at Julio's house. After devo, we all loaded up on Esperanza and headed out towards Mirador Oriente to drop off a crew of people to help build the high school or help serve food in the feeding center in the community. Then the rest of us stayed on the bus and headed to Los Pinos to build a house.

Me and Nolan were sort of the crew leaders for a little while because Luis was a little late getting there this morning (something about the Galloper sliding off a cliff... so he didn't have a ride or something... I'm still not really sure). The crew was full of younger people, and a whole lot of newbies at that, but they were all really great workers and a whole lot of fun to be around. We worked hard on the house all day long and everything just ran really, really smoothly. We finished up at about 4:00 and got back on the bus to head back to Julio's for some AMAZING pork ribs, mashed potatoes, and salad, and then another devotional period and a time to talk about where everyone saw Jesus today.

I want to say something that I saw today in the kids on the mountain, though. I have never seen the kids, in any community, much less Los Pinos, beg and yell at us and then gripe if we wouldn't give it to them for EVERYTHING that we had. It was terrible, and it really gave a lot of the new TORCHers a bad impression of the kids here. I tried to explain to them that it really frustrated me too, but that I had never seen it that bad before. It was a huge test of patience today, and it just really got to me.

But as much as it annoyed me... They have things that they want, and who else are they supposed to ask? Their moms and dads can't give it to them; their brothers and sisters sure won't. So when a big group of Gringos comes to the mountain, I guess I can't blame them for wanting a few things, and not being afraid to say, "Give me that!"

I guess that's what we sound like to God sometimes. Most any time that we actually make time to talk with Him, we say, "Give me that! Give me forgiveness! Give me happiness! Give me an easier life! Give me a way out of this!" And sometimes I think that God just wants to say, "Whoa! Why don't you slow down and just sit in my lap, or let's hang out, or let me tell you how much I love you." But isn't it awesome that, as tired as I may get of others always asking for stuff, God never gets tired of us. He wants us to slow down, and to enjoy His presence, and wait on Him; but He realizes that we have no one else to ask for what we want and need, and He is the good Father that always provides for His children.

And I thank Him for that.

A Rockin' Sunday

Honduras. Day 46.

As I write this, I am STILL excited about what a great day I had today!

I slept in until about 8:00 this morning. Marc said I could have slept in until 9:00 while he went and brought the TORCH group to Santa Ana for church and Terri and Andrea were running early morning errands in town; but once I found out that I had the house to myself, it didn't take long for me to pop out of bed and make myself some killer breakfast burritos. After feasting on those, I got to take my time getting ready for church. I read some from Psalms and enjoyed some coffee, and then made me way over to the church building.

The TORCH group was late because the bus apparently got stuck leaving Julio's, but they eventually made it there just a little ways into the sermon. I actually undestood the sermon today, which felt awesome to be able to do in and of itself, but it was also a very good sermon on what it really looks like to be a family in Christ. After church, we played with the kids at Casa for a little while, and then loaded up and went to Carnita's for lunch.

After Carnita's we made the long bus ride to Valley of Angels. I stuck with the TORCH group today instead of hanging out with the other interns, and I really felt like I got to connect with a bunch of people in the group. This group is really nice, and I enjoyed spending time with them, even in the "ultra touristy" Valley. But I have to admit, I did the tourist thing myself today and actually bought something: a small guitar with a hand-carved illustration of a Honduran village on the front. It was listed as 1400 lempiras, but I got the guy down to 900 (can't beat that price; you know you bargained well when the guy has to go ask his wife if they can sell it for that cheap, haha). Then we got back on the bus and went to Santa Lucia to a cool little local coffee shop area. Again, I just hung out with the TORCHers there and got to know them better. They're a younger group, but they're hilarious. And all the adults are just as friendly too.

We met up with Tom Beech's TORCH group for devo in the Catholic church there in Santa Lucia, and I have to tell you: it's been a long time since I experienced worship to God that intense. Everyone was really singing out, and it was like I was just getting to pour out my soul before the Father. And when we started singing more upbeat songs (like "I Belong to Jesus"), everyone was smiling and just so excited that when we'd finish, no one could help but break out into applause. It was a huge spiritual booster.

I had an awesome day in Hondo today.

San Pedro Sula

Honduras. Day 45.

This is a summary of Friday and Saturday.

This weekend I went with Marc to the city of San Pedro Sula to greet some of the new TORCH groups coming in. We woke up really early Friday morning and left Santa Ana at around 6:00 in the morning. We drove all the way to Comoyagua and then stopped at Dunkin' Donuts (surprise, surprise, to all of you that think it's funny how much I eat out here) for some breakfast to go.

Thank you, Father, for Apple Fritters...

We got to San Pedro at about 11:00. We stopped at one hotel on the way in to check their rates. It looked like a nice enough hotel; it had gated walls, covered garages, you know, just real private. Well Marc parked and went into the reception to ask how much it was for a night there. The lady looked at him funny and said, "Well, we charge for four hours."

Marc got back in the car and said, "How fast do you think we can get out of here."

Don't worry, kids; you'll figure that one out when you're older.

So we laughed about that for a while and then we eventually got into the airport. We greeted Tom Beech's group and eventually got them on Norlan's bus. Customs in San Pedro take an eternity, so it gave me plenty of time to relax and I actually got to call Stacy, my sister, which was a great treat. Once the TORCHers were on their way to Tegus by about 4:00, me and Marc loaded back up and went to a little hotel/apartment villa called, "Villa Nueva." Marc had stayed there before, and it was super nice. We chilled there for a little while and then decided to go and "feast" for supper that night. So we went to T.G.I. Friday's and had Jack Daniel's steak and a "Doble Brownie" for dessert. I got to go to bed early that night, and got to sleep in a little the next morning.

We got up around 8:00 or so and went and got pancakes at the restaurant in the village. There were a ton of gringos there. It was kind of weird to see other mission groups, especially living in such a nice villa. But to each his own I guess... After pancakes, we grabbed our computers and went around town looking for an Internet cafe. It was awesome to get to see the downtown of San Pedro; it was very American looking, yet still retained Honduran architecture, which made for a cool blend. We eventually stopped at a McDonald's and surfed the Web for an hour or so before heading back to the airport.

Terri and Andrea were there by the time we showed up. Marc went to look for people as they would come off the plain, and me, Terri, Andrea, Guillermo and his three friends went and had Wendy's. I got a chance to call home and talk to Mom and Dad, which is always great. The rest of Tom Beech's group got through customs about two hours later, and we shuttled them off to Tegus. And then at about 4:30, the South Carolina/Kingsport, TN group finally got out of customs and was ready to go. We loaded all of their luggage on Esperanza and left at about 5:00. It was a lot of fun to ride with this TORCH group. Several of them remember me from last year, and they are all just really a nice, warm group (much appreciated after a long summer!). I can tell I'm going to enjoy working with them. We all ate at a buffet called "Bongo's" in Yastepec, and then we started to make our way to Tegus.

And then the tire had a blow-out.

We called Marc who was ahead of us and got him to stop in Comoyagua and bring a mechanic. He showed up within 15 minutes with a guy that fixed the tire in about 20 or 30 minutes (he had to run back to his shop so it took a little while). And he did it, at 10:00 at night, for about $25. Ya' gotta' love Honduras. So we all finally got to get back on the bus, everyone extremely exhausted by that point, and made the last two hours to Tegus. We helped them get all of their stuff into their dorms at Julio's house in Santa Ana, and said goodnight. Tomorrow they'll come to church here in Santa Ana and then we'll go to Valley of Angels in the afternoon.

A great, relaxing weekend in Honduras!

Finishing Footers

Honduras. Day 43.

Today was a blast.

I woke up early enough to go with Marc and pick up Milton from the apartments. The others were going to go work at the warehouse and then at the dump today, but I really wanted to go with Milton and work in Mirador Oriente on the footers for the new high school. So Marc took us to Oriente, dropped us off, and he went to meet the others.

And so I was, once again, the only gringo left on the mountain. It was very remincient of my first few days in Hondo. It was just me, Milton, Omar, and Erixon. I couldn't have picked a better crew though. I mixed loads and loads of concrete all day long, listened to Omar's regaeton music, and laughed and laughed at jokes in Spanish that I was actually beginning to get.

Being the only gringo on the mountain taught me several things today:

Today I learned Spanish. Officially. It was either learn it, or shut up and stay out of the loop. And I'm not good at being quiet all day.

Today I learned the value of an education. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not letting me drop out in kindergarten when I thought I had had enough. I know realize that I do not want to work construction for a living.

Today I learned that using concrete mixers and cement trucks is cheating.

But today I also learned that, no matter how hard the labor may be, or how out of my element I may find myself to be, I always have reasons to thank my God. Me and Milton took a breakfast break around 10:30, and we just had such great, deep conversations that I can't help but be thankful for my friendship with him. He told me today what a great friend he considers me to be, and that really meant a lot. I also enjoyed the good feeling that came from finishing the footers and having Marc really compliment us for a job well done; I thank God for the ability to work hard and accomplish stuff that feels so good to accomplish.

But above and beyond it all, I thank God that, no matter how hard or weird a day is, I am never without Him. He goes with me and works beside me in every single thing that I may do in a day. And that's pretty awesome.

Great day.

Concrete Volcanoes

Honduras. Day 42.

I'm not going to lie. I had a pretty stinking awesome day today.

This morning, Marc woke me up at about 5:30 or so (which is exactly when I wanted to get up so that I could have coffee and ample time for a personal, morning devo), but the next thing I knew it was about 6:15. I completely underestimated the comfort of a queen-sized, down mattress. But I got up, took a shower (Marc has Hondo-style, "electric" showers; a funny switch to go back to after having American showers in the apartments), and then had some Raisin Bran and coffee while I read a little bit more out of Psalm 119.

Let me share this with you. I came across a verse that said, "I will walk in freedom, because I walk in your commandments." I asked Marc and Andrea what they thought that meant, since so many people perceive that, if you become a disciple, you become a slave to God's rules and lose your own "personal freedom." It was awesome to spend a few minutes out of the morning talking about it, and all coming to the conclusion that, when we submit to God, we are free from the addiction to and obsession with a corrupt way of life. We do become slaves to God, but that is slavery to a way that is good, full of peace and joy, and just all-around "better."

As a Christian, I can't help BUT serve a way of life that makes me happy. And as a Christian, I no longer HAVE to have anything to do with the old way of life that used to tear me to pieces.

And that's pretty cool.

Me and Marc loaded up in the green truck to head to Mirador Oriente to work on the footers for the high school we're building there in that community. But, "welcome to Honduras," there was a taxi strike in the city today (it happens all the time, apparently), and we got stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. But it was all good; I called and talked to David, my brother in law, for a good while, and me and Marc had some great conversation too. When we finally got to Mirador Oriente, Marc took Karis to go see a doctor (she's had a sore throat for WAY too long), and the rest of us stayed and mixed concrete.

I love mixing concrete. It has got to be the best job in the world for the one-track, task-oriented, male mindset. First, 70 shovel fulls of sand. Second, 55 shovel fulls of rocks. Third, two bags of cement mix. Fourth, build a volcano out of it. Fifth, pour water in the volcano and stir thoroughly. Sixth, you are now officially a hoss, because that was hard work.

And then repeat.

We did that for a while until eventually me and Milton had to go buy more concrete mix. I always enjoy hanging out with Milton because, despite the language barrier, we always have great talks. And he said my Spanish is greatly improving too, so that felt good to hear. We all went and got chicken sandwiches and Phille cheese steak sandwiches for lunch break (while Karis sent me a text message that just said, "Bears, beets, Battlestar Gallactica." And if any of you are fans of "The Office," you know that would have made your day too), then back to Mirador to work a little bit more before the rain came and made the cement a little too soupy to handle anymore.

We met Marc and Karis and Rachel (who just got back from retreat with Terry Reaves' group) at Cafemania. After some iced latte, me and Marc loaded back up to head to Santa Ana. We stopped at Despensa for some groceries, then at the Blue House for fried chicken, and right now, Marc is making mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and Blue House chicken for supper. Oh, and we bought Maldeadas for desert.

I'm covered in concrete, and hoping that it will all wash out; I'm extremely tired, and hoping I'll wake up tomorrow; but life in Hondo was still just way too good today, and I KNOW it will continue to be tomorrow.

Container Time!

Honduras. Day 41.

Today, I woke up early and walked to the Dunkin' Donuts down by Hospital Escuela for a breakfast croissant, a cup of hot coffee, and an amazing time of digging into God's Word. I felt so encouraged reading part of Psalm 119, about how delighting in God's commands and actually having a relationship with Him should go hand in hand. It was a great morning devotional; much needed at that.

We loaded up and went to the warehouse for a little while to work. We moved some machinery and then we sat... for a LONG time. I finally called Marc, and he said to come out to Mirador Oriente to mix concrete for the new school. We got there, and, "welcome to Honduras," there was no sand to mix with. But it was all good. Milton, Steve, and Keither waited for the sand, and the rest of us went back to wait for a container to come in.

I never thought I'd say this but: I was glad the container came.

It's always been my least favorite job, unloading a semi-truck full of missionary junk and storing it in the warehouse, but after a day of feeling completely useless, I relished the container work. And once it was all done, in record time (1 hour 30 minutes), it felt GREAT. Marc then took us out to Carnita's for supper as a reward.

And now I'm in Santa Ana. I asked Marc if I could come live with him and Terri for a while. I was really getting tired of the lifestyle of the apartments, and I think that living out here in Santa Ana will put me closer to some of the TORCH groups and provide me with more opportunity to work and less opportunity to sit around like I did today. Also, I think it will give me a lot more quiet time with my God.

So I'm all the way out in Santa Ana right now. And yet, after a long, crazy day... I am happy.

Back to Work

Honduras. Day 40.

Sorry in advance. Today's is short.

We went to Nuevo Oriental today to get back to work. The girls went and served the kids in the community at the feeding center. The guys stayed near the women's center and dug the foundation for a high school that one of the TORCH groups is going to build. After feeling like I hadn't done too much work in a while, it felt amazing to work hard again. We pick-axed and shoveled all day, and in a few hours we had a foundation dug. We then went to the warehouse to load up a few things in Marc's truck. When we got back to the apartments, I packed up my laptop and walked to Cafemania. I Facebooked and watched some 268generation there, and then met the others to buy groceries at La Colonia.

My apologies for it being brief, but it's been a long day in a few... other areas. And yet, as mixed up as things may get, I give my anxieties over to my Maker, and He in turn gives me peace to press on.

La Ceiba

Honduras. Day 40.

I just got back to the apartments in Teguc. We took a big "family" vacation with Marc this weekend to the beautiful seaside city of La Ceiba. It was like we stepped out of Honduras and into "Pirates of the Caribbean." There were thatched roof huts all along the beach, tons of old fishing boats pulled up to the shore, and a variety of different people that you could encounter everywhere you turned. From French Canadians to Rastafarians, La Ceiba was full of interesting people. But it was the sheer beauty that I experienced while I was there that is what I really want to get at with this blog entry.

We got there Friday afternoon at around 2:00. The others laid in bed and chilled around the "resort" (a term I use loosely because, after all, it's still Honduras), but I was there only to change into swim trunks and hit the beach. I picked a direction and just walked. I saw so many beautiful things along the way. And after I was a few miles down the beach from where I started, I just started praying. I found it so easy to connect with God at that beach. I would stand with my feet buried under the white foam as the waves tugged at my ankles and swirled all around me, ocean spray against my skin, and I could just so easily lift up my eyes and see God in that place. And that's a feeling I greatly desire to chase with every chance that I get to experience Him through His creation.

That night we went out to a seafood restaurant on the beach. And you could tell this place was FRESH seafood at that. I had shrimp thermidor that was killer good (especially because Marc paid for it). We got back late that night, and a few of us walked around on the beach and talked and just soaked it all in.

I decided not to go white water rafting Saturday morning. I desperately wanted to go, but I even more wanted to just stay at the beach and enjoy the spiritual recharge that the beautiful scenery offered. So I woke up at around 11:30, grabbed Kale (he stayed behind too), and we went for a walk. We met up with some Rastafarian friend ("Robert") that Kale had met the night before. We went with Robert to his beach hut and looked at his rock collection. Robert was an interesting character; he was convinced that his rocks were worth a lot of money because you could "see things" in the rocks.

I gotta' tell you: I stared at those rocks for a good 30 minutes, and never really saw anything that'd make me want to pay $100.

:)

But I enjoyed playing along with Robert, and talked about how I "definitely" saw the "frog" and the "snake head." Then Robert went into a big spill about how what we see is all in our perception. Now that... that was actually wise. He said that we wouldn't be able to see the "frog" in the rock unless he pointed it out to us, but then, once he had pointed it out, we wouldn't be able to see anything BUT the frog. I thought about that for a while, and I think it actually makes sense. Were it up to me, I would have never molded that rock in my mind to look like a frog; but once he said, "frog," I have to admit, I kind of did see a frog.

And it makes me wonder if we do that with religion a little too much. Some religious leader tells us that "this" is what a particular verse means. And once he has told us that, it's almost impossible for us to see it any other way. And so that makes me wonder how much of the stuff we believe we believe because it's how we've been shaped to see it. And that's kind of scary.

We have to break past pre-conceived perceptions and look at things with raw eyes and hearts and minds... And that's tough. But if we can do that... That is where we will find truth.

Kale stayed with Robert a little while longer, but I just went out to walk the beach some more. Eventually a wave got me soaked and, unfortunately, soaked my camera too (so no more pictures for the rest of the summer, most likely). I just kept praying and praying as I walked the shoreline. I eventually went back and grabbed some lunch with Karis and a few of the others. Then I went and walked the beach a little more, until the sun started to set.

I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful sunset in my life. The sun poured light through a suspended canopy of cirrus clouds, dancing golden light all over the now-darkening waves, casting a surreal glow over everything in it's path.

And they say this was all an accident... In that moment, seeing that sunset, I couldn't help but tell God, over and over, how much I loved Him. It was a huge spiritual recharge, and a much needed one at that.

That night, we all went out to Applebee's. When we came back, we chased sand crabs for a little while. Then we laughed at Milton pretending to be a frog in the pool. Me and Karis walked on the beach for a while, and eventually Kale and Nolan came back from some hotel they were hanging out at and we talked with them for a little while. This morning, we got up for "church," which meant going out to a grove of trees and sitting around while Marc talked from 2 Corinthians 5 about being "crazy for Christ" and being truly forgiven. Then we passed around some sugar bread and a juice bottle and took a good period of reflection on Christ's sacrifice at the same time. It was great. Then we loaded up, went to Lake Yahoa for some AMAZING bass for lunch, and then finished the long drive back to Teguc.

What a weekend... You can drive six hours to the Caribbean coast of Honduras and experience God there in such an amazing way. And yet, now that I'm back, I know that the truth is that you can never escape from His presence so, really, you can experience Him in different and amazing ways with every step you take, wherever He may take you.

Just When You Thought It Was Over...

Honduras. Day 37.

This morning, me, Karis, Nolan, Kale, Milton and Hannah loaded up in the truck to go meet the others (we were a little late, because we were a little lazy) in Santa Ana. They were working on a new sidewalk there. Me, Karis, Nolan, Kale and Hannah, however, got to go back to my favorite (sarcasm) house site in the whole world: the cursed house in Ojojona. Apparently, the roof didn't have enough overhang, and it had holes in it. Well, when we got there, they had already added the leftover pieces to provide an overhang, so all I had to do was crawl up on the roof and patch up all the holes. So "just when you thought it was over," the never-ending Ojojona house had one more day of work to plague us with afterall. Maybe next week it'll fall apart and we'll have to go back and re-build it.

:)

After we got that done, we just hung out in Ojojona for a while (got pupusas, hung out at the big tree, walked around, etc.). Eventually the rest of the group showed up to eat pupusas. After that, we got the truck and headed with Marc to Sector Ocho. It was awesome to be back in that community; it is definitely my favorite in all of Honduras. All of the old women recognized me, and they were really kind to me. I saw Reyna's grandmother, and she said that Reyna was doing much better now (GREAT news, because God's just that GREAT), and got to see my buddies like Danella, Pamela, Lester, Marlo Moises, and Josilyn. After hanging out there for a while, we loaded back up and went and got the van that we're taking to La Seiba (a beach-side city we're chilling out all weekend this weekend; so I probably won't have any updates for this weekend). Then we got some Wendy's (yeah, being an intern is rough), and then we just went back to the apartments. Kale and Nolan were watching Van Helsing; me and Karis eventually gave up on that because it was way too cheesey and watched The Office instead.

I have a feeling that La Seiba will be awesome. There'll be white water rafting, hanging out on the beach, good food, and just all-around much needed relaxation. Pray for our trip and our safety.

Dump Day

Honduras. Day 36.

Today we woke up and went and got food at La Colonia to make sandwiches to take to the dump. We also picked up two huge branches of bananas to take to them. I was really excited about delivering all the food and water to the dump, but I never expected it to be such a different experience from last time. When we got to the dump, it started to pour down rain. When we finally parked the truck, I was soaked within 30 seconds. All of the people at the dump were huddled together under makeshift shelters they had put together out of tarps. We passed around food and sandwiches and bananas to everyone that we could, but eventually, of course, we ran out of food. That's when things started to get a little ugly. There was one drunk man there, who had probably been sniffing glue every day of his life, who was not happy at all with me and Steve when we told him we didn't have anymore food. When that didn't look good, we loaded up in the truck to leave as quick as we could. But the drunk guy wouldn't let go of the truck, and he was so physically weak that he couldn't stand on his own, so that when Nolan started to back up, he almost accidentally backed over the man. We yelled to stop, and some other people picked the guy up off the ground. I was the only guy in the back of the truck, and so he started coming at me trying to start a fight. But it wasn't a scary thing; it was heart-breaking to watch. This guy couldn't hardly stand up; he was skinnier than a rail; I wasn't threatened by him, I was just crushed to see this man who was so despaired and overwhelmed with sorrow that he was trying to pick a fight with anyone or anything that he could, even if it was the missionary who was trying to give his friends some food. Rob Bell said it best once, "Sometimes people are always trying to pick a fight because they've realized they're not actually in one." This man had such a hole in his life that he was angry; angry, and frustrated, and mad, and confused, and hurting, and he was lashing out at me just because he was realizing his hurt. And the sad part is, every human being on the face of the planet has that same hole within us, we're just not all as aware of it as that guy was.

And it's a God-shaped hole, because He's the only one that will ever be able to fill it.

Chili's and Moaloa

Honduras. Day 35.

Yesterday was amazing. Me, Karis, Nolan, and Kale went with Marc most of the day all around Tegucigalpa. We went to the Sociedad Biblia (the Bible institute in Tegucigalpa that is a gorgeous PALACE in the downtown) and order 40 boxes of Bibles with some money that Karis and Nolan's church raised. Those are going to be an awesome blessing to the people here. The rest of the day was pretty lazy. We met up with Milton at Chili's and had a great, fun lunch together. That night we made quesadillas in the apartments, and watched Hitch on TV. Fun day.

Today I woke up early to go with Luis to Villa Gracia to work with Terry Reaves' TORCH group. I got Nolan and Karis (the other interns) up to go with us. We took a taxi to the bus stop at the bottom of El Hatillo, and then took a "Rapidito," (translation: a mini-bus that they cram 100 people in for real cheap) to the mission house. The group split off into people going to Hospital Escuela (which I've already done too much this summer), a group building a house (which I didn't feel like today), and a group going to Moaloa near San Miguel. I chose Moaloa with Karis, Nolan and Rachel.

We got there and babysat some of the kids while the moms made food for all of the children in the community at the feeding center at the church (which I helped build the foundation of in 2004, so it was crazy de ja veaux to come back several years later and see how it had all come together). Eventually I got to leave the day care job and work a little in the kitchen. I was just drying the dishes (but there were A LOT of dishes), but I didn't mind; it was just a different kind of service today, I guess. Afterwards, I played a little soccer with a boy named Josue, checked out a cool new day care project they're starting in that community, and then loaded up to leave. Then these cops came and tried to illegally arrest my good friend Josue from Los Pinos over so false accusations about land ownership; it was a fiasco. Eventually it got sorted out, and everything was okay. But still, it was a crazy day.

We got back to the apartments this evening, and Hannah got here not long after us. So me, Hannah, Karis, Nolan, and Milton went and got Little Caesar's pizza and took it back to the apartments to eat it on the roof (a very peaceful dinner: pizza and Coke Zero while enjoying the view of the city at night). It's been a long day; but a God-blessed one nonetheless.